The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle.

Guest

This is chapter two I hope everyone enjoys it.

Twelve years later the sun rose on an early spring day and a boy who would soon hold the future of Earth in his hands arose from his bed.

"No you fool what are you doing, that is all wrong!" Snapped Quill. Quill was Varodel's teacher whatever Varodel needed to know Quill was there to teach him. Recently Varodel had wanted to know alot about potion making and Quill had grown suspicious of his curiosity. And ever since Quill had tought him how to enchant objects Varodel had seemed a bit less talkative. Quill thought he was up to no good.

"Quill come on ye told me I could learn how to make potions when I was 16 why wont you teach me now?" Varodel asked sounding very annoyed by Quill's lack of trust. "I said I woul' teach ya now leave me alone I am reading something." Varodel was mad but he knew when Quill told him to do something he would be better of doing it.

Varodel walked to the front gate of his fathers kingdom and lied on the deep green grass. Harold the gate keeper hadn't been doing a very good job at keeping this grass cut. Varodel leaned back and thought about all that he had learned the past winter.

The memories he had stored over this small amount of time were incredible.

He started thinking of his survival training venturing through the cold winter winds the icy mix under his feet crunching loudly as he tried to sneak up on his target. His breath froze before him and the small grains of snow stuck in his air fell to his feet as he reached back. The quiver of arrows he begun with had narrowed in quantity from the past week he had been wandering. It didn't matter though this was his last objective this is what was guarding the path he needed to walk down to get home.

He drew back the arrow and held it steadily aiming it directly at the small goblins back. The small goblin spun around at the sound of the release but was not quick enough and soon found itself falling to the ground. "THUD crrrrrrckkkkkkk THWAP" the goblin had landed on the ground directly on the arrow making a cracking sound as it crunched. Varodel had done it he was free from this terrible test he could finally go home.

Varodel began his way down the cobble stone path merrily swaying back and forth and he sung to himself. Varodel stood frozen hoping his ears had deceived him. They hadn't he turn around to see a patrol of goblins marching down the path. Varodel had no choice he had to hide the path was too clear to go down without being seen.

Varodel crawled under a tree that had fallen and pushed some twigs and leaves to hide himself leaving a hole just large enough to watch what the goblins were doing. It sounded as if the small troop were now running. Varodel peaked his head around the leaves and saw something he prayed the goblins would not see. His ring.

The troop of goblins had now arrived at the body and were shouting threats and warnings into the air. They searched around the body for a while and that is when they found it. They saw the shiny object just lying there why would there be a ring in the middle of the forest. The largest of the 3 leaned over and picked up the ring.

" This be the ring of Dardinpale! It's William Rotwood's ring!" Yelled the large goblin. " But... th- tha 'greement he made with master e' said thot he wouldn't travel these lands e' promised master thase would be goblin lands. " The smallest of the goblins whispered nervously. "We will be taking takin' it back to master he will deal with this... lets go I'm 'ungry."

The three goblins scurried off with the ring. Varodel didn't want to leave the hole what had he done. Had he just cost his dad the friendship with the goblins?
After he was sure the goblins had left Varodel crawled out of the hole and ran down the path as fast as he could. When he arrived home he was congratulated by Quill and his father.

He remembered the song that Quill read to him that night. He was just about to sing it to himself when he was pulled out of his day dreaming by a loud wheel sound.

Varodel looked next to him and saw the gate rising. The gate was only raised when there were people coming towards the castle or when animals were wandering outside. Varodel pulled himself up the large wooden ladder and stared off into the distance.

"Man those trebuchets, put some wood on the fire under the boiling cauldron, snap to it people get on those walls!" He heard his dad yelling orders what was going on. He turned his head a little to the left and saw what was happening.

There were thousands of goblins. Thousands of goblins headed towards the castle.

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Fri May 16, 2008 8:30 pm

AHHH!! It's pretty intesnse....
And now for the critique: Some grammar issues near the begining, maybe some more description, all i have is my imagination on the characters. Good understanding of government. Nice archcitectual reference and speech according to race. 8/10 Very Happy

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Favorite quote: I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
Favorite Characture: Ian Malcom
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Guest

Nice 8/10 is good I know I mess up with some of my grammar seeing that I type what I think and I don't think in my mind on how stuff is properly said or written lol. I'm just glad you liked the story part it self. I might even find the time to do it tonight. :) The reason I'm doing this mainly is because I want to be a published author when I'm just a little bit older and I think that some experience on being judged is needed and I want honest opinions not the usual that is good that you get from your family lol.

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Fri May 16, 2008 8:39 pm

LOL, I know what you mean..... Cool about wanting to be an author! I'll critique this if you want me to or not.. MUAHAHA!! I promise I'll be honest! Very Happy

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Favorite quote: I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
Favorite Characture: Ian Malcom
Favorite Book: Jurrasic Park
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46th to Join

Guest

Yeah I want you to critique it even if it is like a 1/10 but don't take off too many points for gramar and stuff that is my publishers job lol. Very Happy

But yeah I thought your last one was fair amount for gramar and all. And thanks btw.

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Fri May 16, 2008 9:05 pm

mind if i pop in to your story, King?

banana

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for the sake of my friend bryan-alpha on VMK...

i can do this all day
and for Acemedude...

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Fri May 16, 2008 9:43 pm

Okay. Just some advice King, but try to seperate your paragraphs. It really is hard to read.
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Audubon's Wildlife Adventure High Score: 201
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sorry bro lolzer

Guest

I did try to seperate my paragraphs I'm using a junk program to type this but I will go back and fix it now. And BlackHedghog if you mean pop in by making me a character or two you can when I get to chapter 5 you can but for now there are enough characters to make it where I'm going. Thanks everyone. BTW Evil I really like when people give me advice like that instead of just letting my story look terrible.

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Sat May 17, 2008 1:05 am

LOL, anticipating the 3rd instalment....
_________________

Favorite quote: I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
Favorite Characture: Ian Malcom
Favorite Book: Jurrasic Park
-------------------------
46th to Join

Guest

Hmm.... you want me to go ahead and do it tonight? If so then I will release 4 and maybe 5 tomorrow.

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Sat May 17, 2008 11:44 am

Whenever you want Very Happy

_________________

Favorite quote: I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
Favorite Characture: Ian Malcom
Favorite Book: Jurrasic Park
-------------------------
46th to Join

Guest

Okay whenever my coffee is done I'll start.

Subject: Re: The Wanderers of King Varodel's Castle. Sat May 17, 2008 12:59 pm

Character for the story! pixie

Character Name: Astro The Great
Character Info: He is a wizard, he is a kid
Poor or Rich: Rich
Family members: His dad was the greatest wizard ever ( you can make up a name for him )
Hero or Villain: Hero! ( he is almost like robin hood, he doesn't steal though he just gives whatever he has)

Guest

Chapter 3

Quill stomped out of his cottage. "What is all the racket out here I was trying to read a..." At the sight of the towns folk preparing the siege equipment Quill ran into his cottage and a few seconds later came out with a large leather book with straps all over it. "What is that Ol' Quill" asked a group of children standing by spectating the millitia's preparations. "Oh, this? This is just a book on how to make soup." Before the kids could ask any more questions Quill ran off with the book and headed towards the town bard, Chanter. As soon has he got a few steps though he toppled over his large brown boots and rolled untill his amulet had become entangled in his long gray comb over. The kids laughed at the sight of what looked like he had been chew up by an lion and spit back out. Quill crawled back to his feet quickly, brushed off, and start back on his way to see Chanter.

"Hello Quill Ol' chap what have you been up to?" Chanter seemed to be in a merry mood despite the huge army marching towards Dardinpale. He was singing a tune to himself while swaying his head back and forth so many times that he looked like a mop because his stringy long blonde hair covering his skinny bearded face. "No time... talk we... to get to... Varodel!" Quill shouted to be heard over the marching while gasping to catch his breath. Chanter stood up and grabbed his lute. "Okay, let us be going then."

When the two finally found Varodel he was suited in a light mesh suit and holding a bow. He had cut his brown wavy hair short so he couldn't be grabbed by it in battle. "Hey, what have to two of you been up to." Quill was gasping for air again so Chanter decided he would explain. "We need you to come with us Quill needs us to do something up in the north east tower." Varodel looked at Chanter for a second and then responded. "Okay, what are we waiting for."

The three of them started off towards the tower pushing their way through groups of people that had now formed watching the millitia. Once the had arrived in the tower Quill finally opened the book. It had become home to dust. Quill held the book up in front of him and blew the page. When the page was dusted Varodel could clearly see a picture of many, small creatures falling, defeated, with one figure standing in the middle of them.

"Varodel this is called the song of time." Quill explained to him. "What is it, what does it do?" Quill looked back at the page and then explained. "It is a song that can be played to enchant one person The song is only a minute long when that minute is up you will stop moving at a super speed and return to your normal speed." Chanter interrupted. "So your saying I have to play this song?" Quill shook his head yes. "What is the point of this though even if I did move in super speed it is only a minute I could only kill a few goblins." Varodel sounded very annoyed that he had a task with such little purpose." You will not be killing any goblins. I want you to take the large bundle of Pitch bombs you can find from the court yard and place them in the front line of the goblins. When you have finished this take a torch and light the small string coming out of the top. When time is back to normal it will explode helping us greatly in the battle.

After everything was explained Varodel agreed to what he had to do. Chanter began the song "Tell the man of his own day the one that can make it pass away..." Everything had stopped around Varodel he stood there for a second shocked before he realized he needed to get moving. He grabbed a torch off of the front of the castles court house. He ran at speeds he never thought possible into the court yard and picked up a large bundle of pitch bombs. He guessed he had used about 30 seconds of his time now so got out to the front line of their army that were now no more than 50 feet from the castle and lit the bundle.

Varodel arrived back in the tower moments before the song was complete. Quill and Chanter looked at him with worried expressions on their face. " I did it now come with me lets see how many of them go flying." Quill and Chanter exchanged smiles then ran off following Varodel to view the explosion. It had been about a minute once they made it to the front gate to view the explosion which is how long the fuse was supposed to last.

"It should be going off any moment now." Quill explained to the others. "Retreat every body get off the towers! Run, run, run!" Before anyone knew what was happening the explosion happened.

The explosion happened but it wasn't as planned there was now a large hole in the front gate. "What happened here!" Quill was filled with anger and started screaming for answers. "Sir one uf those rascals took the bomb an put it agains' the door it was so close to explodin' we couldn't do nuthin." explained one of the men who had been standing on the gate. "What how could this have..." Quill's remark was interrupted by more screams.

"Everyone run part o' the bomb is still there!" The majority of the bomb was still remaining and now had been ignited. "BCCCKKKKKKWOOOSH" Was the sound made as the remaining bombs went off. Nearly a hundred soldiers were sent flying into the crowd of goblins and into nearby buildings. There was now no gate at all.

"Charge at full speed! Leave none alive!" The goblins were now running towards the open gate house at full speed slamming their weapons against their shields and screaming out insults towards the remaining people in the castle. The noise was so loud that nobody noticed William Rotwood fall over. Dead, nothing had happened to him that could be seen but he was dead. When someone finally did notice everyone panicked. He was their only hope he was their king. Now what would they do?

Guest

Everyone who wants to make a character please wait until I have completed chapter 5 and thank you for your all of your support. I appreciate you all reading this. For any fans I made this.

If your a fan put it in your signature.